Name the Asshat

So, this whole LeBron thing was kind of a big deal. You hear about it? Well, it really has been the gift that keeps on giving.

LeBron was a dick first. If I were any non-Jamesian actor in this whole fiasco, and we were actually a group of 5th graders, that would be my defense. So, look - can you hate James for going to Miami? I dunno. Not really. Personally, I think it's super-weak. I think a lot of people saw the LeBron free agency and hoped beyond hope that he would make a move that would give him the chance to create his legacy as one of the great players of all time (and at the same time make the Eastern Conference really interesting). Instead, he signed up to be the Scotty Pippen to someone else's MJ. No matter how good this team is, it will always be Wade's team. He robbed himself of a legacy, and robbed the league of some potentially awesome match-ups. But that doesn't make him an ass.

No, the hour-long special makes him an ass. He got some cash for a charity. A lot of cash. And I'll give him props for that. But that's the coldest moment of his life. Which is not a good thing (compare:

But yeah. He did Cleveland wrong with that whole thing. Not that they didn't deserve it. Just that it was a tough way to do it, busting them down on national TV like that.

So, now, let's talk about the city of Cleveland and Cavs owner Dan Gilbert.

So, Dan, Comic Sans, eh? Nothing says "I'm fucking pissed" like Comic Sans. But looking to the content of the letter, it's basically Dan Gilbert whining about how he's been "betrayed". What the letter really evidences, though, is the precise attitude that's keeping Cleveland down. The only good decision the Cavs have made in the last 10 years was to draft LeBron James, and there was really no choice there. Everything else, they fucked up. And now he's gone. And I can't blame him a bit, because if I'm that good a player, I don't want to entrust my fate to such a bunch of yutzes.

As for the city of Cleveland, get the fuck over it. You should have been pissed long ago that your owner and the management of your one modestly successful sports franchises was fucking things up so royally. You can be pissed, but can you really blame him for going? He didn't owe you anything, and if he did, he repaid it by sticking around that shitty franchise for 6 years.

But, worse still, we have Jesse Jackson.

So, is he really a reverend? Does it matter? Did you just insert the word "slave" into this whole discussion. Look, Dan Gilbert may be pathetic and whiner, but LeBron's skin color did have a fucking thing to do with how Gilbert felt. How does anyone care what this guy says anymore? The worst part is that I don't even think Jesse Jackson could think something that fucking stupid.

And that's when David Stern stepped in, to say that he thought everyone handled it poorly.

So, what does all this tell us? It tells us that everyone involved was dysfunctional. LeBron needs to mind himself a little bit better. Maybe he doesn't have the maturity to have his own team, which I would believe, after this past week's fiasco. Dan Gilbert, although perfectly willing to do things himself, appears to be incompetent and petty. You can pick which you'd rather be. Amongst all of this, David Stern has to wonder who was doing his job last week, because it's clear that it wasn't David Stern. He's the goddamn commissioner, and despite thinking that the LeBron "Decision" was not the right way to handle things, he did jack shit. Ultimately, it's his job to keep things like this from embarrassing the league, and he did nothing.

I know this probably wasn't my best piece, but I feel like I've been beaten over the head so thoroughly with all this shit, that I can't keep my thoughts straight while trying to write them down. So, with that, the dynasty is formed, Cleveland's resurgence is quelled, and Jesse Jackson showed he's more Rusch Limbaugh than anything else.

But maybe the LeBron-DWade pairing was a match made in heaven:

PSA

Don't click on any of the links from the Chinese-language comments on here.

And July 8th Shall Forever Be "LeBron James Choice Day"

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Another Go At It

I'm giving this another go. I know that I've been saying this with some regularity for a while now, but this is really going to be it. I mean it. I'm going to post once a day for the rest of time. Or at least the next week. That's my goal.

And there's lots going on right now.

I don't love the NBA. I love basketball. I love college basketball. But when it comes to sports in general, I enjoy the competition aspect of it the most. I enjoy watching the best go out and battle for supremacy. I'm not going to watch high school sports of any kind. But I will watch Nordic Combined at the Winter Olympics. Why? Because it's the best competing against the best.

So, that's why I don't love the NBA. Not because it doesn't feature the best players, but because the competition often comes secondary to personal glory. You can watch five minutes of a game and realize that. But that's OK, because it's still pretty entertaining. And once you hit the latter points of the playoffs, the game does change some, and you generally see better competition.

With that said, here's why LeBron should go to the Clippers. Or at least why the Clippers are better than every other option.

Cleveland: Been there, done that. I recognize that it's his hometown, but he can make it his hometown for the 40 years of retirement that will come after his playing career is over. He can move into the fucking Rock and Roll Hall of Fame if he wants to. But as for a playing situation, it's the same this year as it was last year. Not enough help. A bunch of sub-par supporting actors in a mediocre play. He may love the script, but this is like casting Tom Hanks in a movie with Brendan Frasier and Paul Blart. Yeah, they may be kind of big names, in that everyone knows who they are, but are you really expecting Hanks to put out an Oscar-winning performance with those guys out there with him? Cleveland is the worst situation for him, and the management there has made no indication that they have the competence to turn it around.

Chicago: Derrick Rose wanted Joe Johnson over LeBron? That's clearly just Rose taking a shot at LeBron. "Fuck that" - LeBron James on the Derrick Rose situation. Or at least that's what it should be. If Dwayne Wade can go out and recruit LeBron and Bosh, why can't Rose? Because he's got a bad fucking attitude. True, Rose can be great. But he will never come close to LeBron, and should realize that just maybe he could benefit from having the best player in the league on his team.

Miami: Well, c'mon now. Not only does that make the East boring (either the Heat win the conference and no one cares, or the Heat lose the conference and everyone becomes convinced that the 2nd and 3rd best teams in the league are now playing for the title), but it also diminishes LeBron's legacy. LeBron is uniquely positioned to be considered one of the BEST ever. Not just a great player. Not just a HOFer. But one of the best ever. When it's all said and done, you may be able to argue over Jordan or LeBron for best individual player of all time. But not if LeBron pulls this and goes to Miami. Not at 25. Sure, Malone and Payton did it in LA, but that was at the end of their careers. Garnett and Allen did it, too, but they were both older as well and in very different situations. No, LeBron needs his own team if he truly wants to reach that elite pantheon - to be that one guy for your generation who stands above the rest.

NY Knicks: Attractive, but I don't like it. LeBron needs competitors on his team, because LeBron enjoys himself too much sometimes. His enjoyment ultimately takes away from his team's ability to compete at the highest level. He needs guys who are going to be motivated on their own. And needless to say, that is not Amar'e Stoudemire.

NY/NJ Nets: Attractive. For sure. I mean, once you cut Devin Harris out of the picture, they're possibly a perimeter shooter away from being a really good team. You have a Lopez down low, you have a young, athletic PF in Favors, and you'd have LeBron. Plug in someone who can shoot, and I could play "PG" on that team, and we would win 60 games. But still, it's not the best situation of all.

Where is that, you may ask? In LA. With the Clippers. Why?
(1) Best supporting cast for LeBron. The Clippers dump old-ass Baron Davis, and plug LeBron in to essentially run the point. Besides, who else do you want with the ball in their hands? You have a solid big man in Kaman, down low. You have Blake Griffen at PF, who (I think) would be perfect - plays good defense, hustles ALL the time, legit post player, but also athletic enough to run with LeBron. You have a couple of GREAT rookies coming in, with Bledsoe and Aminu. And you have Eric Gordon, a guy who can shoot from anywhere, and is happy being that kick-out option.

And it's a true supporting cast. Everyone there is talented, but no one is bigger than LeBron.

(2) Sets up a natural rivalry with the only other guy who you could argue is better than LeBron, Kobe Bryant.

(3) It's a team with no history (like the Bulls circa 1984). It's LeBron's team to put his name on. Sure, they may never be the Lakers. But it's still LA, and in a city of 4 million, there's a new generation being born every day.

Now, he won't sign there because of Donald Sterling. From what I've heard, Sterling deserves to lose out like this. But if he could put all that aside, I think the Clippers become title conteders overnight, and have the basic parts in place to give LeBron multiple rings.