My Dad Might Be Right About Tiger Woods...

My dad loves golf. It's one of the things he believes most in. Golf, working out, and having electronic devices stop working for him (which he swears only happens to him). My dad enjoys most sports and is pretty fucking knowledgeable on most of them. On occasion, my dad can become irrational about certain things in sports. For example, a Pitt grad, he still hasn't forgiven Pitt for not playing Joe Flacco (even though Tyler Palko was setting Pitt records at the time and it would have been silly to bench him) after watching Flacco play for the Ravens last year (a team he openly despises). And don't talk ill of Zydrunus Ilgauskus in front of him, because he will get mad for reasons I am still trying to figure out.

Like any male sports fan over the age of 50, he adamantly believes that all sports were more difficult, players were better and competition was more difficult when "he was my age".

One of these such beliefs manifests itself whenever Major season in golf comes around. You see, my dad has a bold prediction that he "wouldn't be surprised" if Tiger Woods never catches Jack Nicklaus and his record 18 Majors. He throws out bullshit such as "Nicklaus played against the likes of Gary Player, Arnold Palmer and Tom Watson" or "they players made nothing back then unless they won, nowadays the 45th ranked player on the money list has his own G-5" (it's a personal aircraft). Now there may be some merit to that. I'm not sure whether it's because my dad dislikes Tiger (after all, he hates Phil Mickleson, who he claims was an asshole too his cousin) or he just yearns for the old days.

In response to his "Tiger will struggle to beat Jack's record" assertion, I basically told him he was a fucking moron. I assure you, language like this in the Ruben household is a sign of love, caring and tenderness.

Now when it comes to sports, my dad and I don't agree too often, but I'm gonna go out and fucking say it.

I don't like Tiger Woods.

Not in the least. I find myself cringing to root for him even during the Ryder Cup. In all honesty, I just think he's kind of a prick.

I will concede immediately that without a doubt he's the best golf player in the world right now. No question. Nobody on the tour, young or old, is even a close second. But for someone who's the best at what he does in the world, he sure has pretty fucking terrible body language. I find it incredibly off putting. It's one thing to be an intense competitor, it's another to come off as a whiny 12 year old who's angry he struck out three times in Little League and removes himself from the game allowing yourself to move from Center Field to Second Base (yes, I'm talking about you Stern). When Tiger makes an 8 foot birdie putt, he should act like he's been there, not go on with the crazy fist pumping. When he puts an iron into the second cut, he shouldn't throw the club down in disgust like a child. Although I'll admit, when he farts, it's kind of funny.

With all my Tiger hatred, I would still argue vehemently against my dad telling him Tiger will easily break Jack's record for Major wins. Sure, Tiger had a bit of a slump in '03 and '04, but by 2005 he was in control once again. Tiger rattled off two Majors in '05, two in '06, one in '07 and one in '08. Tiger tore his knee in '08 and was forced to take the rest of the season off.

But then something weird started happening. At the '09 Masters, Tiger spent the whole time chasing, and with the lead in sight on the back 9 on Sunday, he just simply didn't have it. He seemed to run out of gas, especially on 18. At the U.S. Open, Tiger opened with a 4 over, and squeezed past the cut at 3 over par. Tiger gained 2 more shots on the Saturday and sat at 1 over par going into the final round 9 off the lead. While the field fell apart, Tiger was only able to manage to climb to even par and lost by four strokes. Tiger was simply bad at the British Open and missed the cut in a Major for only the second time in his career.

Then came the PGA Championship. Fresh of back to back wins, Tiger was poised to win. He came out scorching with a 5 under par round to lead the back. He went into the weekend 7 under par and carrying a four stroke lead. If you watched ESPN or CBS, you knew that Tiger winning at this point was a formality. On Saturday Paddy Harrington made a nice run to pull within two strokes of Tiger. ESPN and CBS continued to tell us Tiger had never lost a major when he carried a lead into the final round. Well then, no need for us to watch, right CBS?

But something changed. Tiger, the cat who couldn't be chased down, finally was. Was it Phil, Paddy, Sergio or Vijay? Nope. It was Y.E. Yang. Read that again, Y.E. fucking Yang.

Who the fuck is Y.E. Yang? Well, here's his Wikipedia page. So to recap, Tiger got chased down with a Sunday lead in the Masters by a guy who:

• Initially worked as a nightclub waiter.


• Started to play golf at the age of 19 while picking golf balls part time at "Jeju's Ora Country Club", which I think is this place.


• Had no formal golf training.


• Injured his knee while learning to use an excavator for a construction company because he needed a "real job"


• Served mandatory military service in South Korea.

If anyone was going to give Tiger a run for his money on Sunday, it would have been Paddy Harrington of course. Paddy was the reigning PGA Tour Champion. It certainly wouldn't have been Y.E. Yang. Sure, other guys are going to catch lucky breaks like the one Yang caught when he eagled 14. But Tiger responded with a solid birdie of his own on 14 and everyone just figured Yang would run out of gas, not the other way around.

But it was Tiger who couldn't make a putt. It was Tiger who bogeyed 17 and 18 to basically kill his own hopes and take all the pressure off of Yang. This wasn't the Tiger we were all used to. Despite CBS making us believe up until Yang sank his putt on 18 to win the Championship that Tiger was going to win, it just wasn't meant to be.

It begs the question, would pre-knee tearing Tiger had let a 37 year old self taught golfer with one career PGA Tour victory overtake him in such embarrassing fashion? Is there something wrong with Tiger. Sure he's won his fair share of tournaments this year, but we only remember Major Championships, not Tour wins at Bridgestone. In the four majors this year, Tiger missed a cut in one, was never in contention in another, failed to capitalize down the stretch in one and choked away a certain win in the other. Whatever the opposite of impressive is, that's summed up Tiger's appearance in the Majors this year.

Although it pains me through and through to admit it, maybe my father is right. Maybe there IS something wrong with Tiger. For the first time in Tiger's career, there might be more questions than answers.