Gaining Perspective On The Whole "Stanley Cup Finals" Thing...

As anyone who would read this blog already knows, my beloved Penguins got hammered by the mighty Detroit Red Wings in Game 5 of the SCF on Saturday night. It was just about the worst thing that I've ever seen, and the first time I've walked away from the TV during a sporting event since the Steelers went down 24-3 to the Pats at halftime of the 2005 AFC Championship game (it was the 2004 season, but played in '05). It was, to put it concisely, crushing. So, after the 5th goal went in the net, I, my girlfriend and her younger brother decided to call it quits on the game. However, my misery was not to end there.

As we left the apartment building, and began to make our way toward the Metro, one of her neighbors, who I am quite sure knew exactly where I was from and who I was rooting for, started an unprovoked "Let's Go Red Wings!" chant. Although I did not respond, I spent the 15 minute walk to the Metro thinking about what exactly I should have done to this motherfucker for either waiving his team's victory in my face, or just being an antagonistic asshole. Most of the options I came up with involved a glass beer bottle and the words "bitch" and "pussy". But then it struck me - for one simple reason, there is no way the success of the Red Wings or the gloating of any Detroit-er should get under my skin:

Detroit ain't got SHIT on The 'Burgh.

Please accept the following as a short (and certainly not exhaustive) list of why Pittsburgh is way better than Detroit:

First, Pittsburgh is just plain a better place to live. Pittsburgh is a community which latched onto the healthcare industry as a basis for its local economy. Virtually a recession-proof industry, the City of Pittsburgh has survived both the international economic collapse and the national housing bust as well as any area of the country. Most people here are employed. Detroit, on the other hand, is a dying city. As the American auto industry decends into bankruptcy, the errors of Detroit-ers of the past - greedy unions and incompetant corporate executives alike - are coming to bear. It also isn't what most people would call a "safe" place to be. With 2,289 violent crimes in 2007, it led the country (over 3 times as many as NYC), and the most per-capita in the country.

Pittsburgh is the country's 10th most livable city. It is tight-knit, and has a sense of pride for the area that is rarely rivaled. It is a beatiful city, too - the view from Mt. Washington was named by USA Today to be the 2d most beautiful place in the country (a view of the city itself)...

Detroit, on the other hand, is a place where the fire department has actually gone to the trouble of marking the 12,000 abandoned homes (this figure is accurate as of 2005) with a big red "X", so that firefighters won't have to risk their lives on structures that are better off leveled. Being from a city that is thriving and looking towards the future, it is hard to imagine a place where the fire department would rather let things burn than have to worry about salvaging them. Understandable why its the 7th most miserable place to live in the US (just one spot behind nearby Flint, MI).

Second, they have the Lions, we have the Steelers. 0-16? Or 6 Super Bowls and the most loyal ownership and coach in all of football?

Third, the Wings don't even have the support of their own fan base. I mean, it'd be great to win, but ultimately, when it comes down to it, we have a great core of players, that this city loves and embraces. One Wings fan notes that their attendance is middle-of-the-road as NHL teams go. And this is from a team that's been the most successful franchise in the league in the last 10-15 years. The Pens, on the other hand, are over 100 consecutive sell-outs, and arguably the hardest ticket to get in town.

Ultimately, no matter how Game 6 or Game 7 goes, I think every Pens fan should reflect on the fact that they live in a great, great city, and the Wings fans, in the end, have it much, much worse...

I also just want to note that this is a re-write. The original ended up on a computer in Detroit, and, well...