The "Non-Star" Teams...

The MLB All-Star Game takes place this evening in St. Louis. If history repeats itself, the game will either be boring and the National League will lose, or the game will be close and the National League will lose. With injuries, birth of children, anxiety, raquetball reservations and fatigue, so many players make the All-Star team it's become meaningless. I mean, Zach Duke is second in the National League in lossess, and he's made the team. The Pirates are a fucking joke and they have two all-stars.

Writers on ESPN.com, CNNSI.com and other sports sites love to do their "Mid Season Awards" and inevitably, they always toss out the "LVP" (Least Valuable Player) in each league and the "Cy Yuk" (Worst Pitcher). Here at Operation Shutdown, we've decided to take that the next step and bring you an entire team of the crappiest, laziest and most underperforming players of the season at each position and each team. A "No-Stars Team" if you will.

Before we dive in, we've laid down some groundrules. For position players, we've established a baseline that you've had to have played a significant amount of time at that position, say at least 235 at bats. For Catchers, we've been a bit more lenient. Pitchers, you've had to have thrown at least 10 games (save for one exception in each league). Finally, the player has to be a legitimate major leaguer who has either had success in the past, or was a big time prospect at one time or another. Without further delay, here are your "No-Stars".

The National League

Catcher: Jason Kendall - .233, 0HR, 23 RBI's, 60 hits on the season 50 of them singles. Throwing out 20% of basestealers which in the NL is only better than the Molina brother in San Fran. He doesn't hit well. He doesn't catch well. How is he still a starter?

First Base: Adam LaRoche- .250, 12HR, 39 RBI's. Less RBI's than every starting NL 1B other than Nick Johnson (who has one less) and Casey Kotchman. Has the worst batting average of all other everyday NL first baseman. Only Ryan Howard has more strikeouts. Bitched about Pirates management. Was correct about Pirates management. Will not be a Pirate in a month. The .250 average at the break is a shock. Usually he's at .220 at this point.

Second Base: David Eckstein- .267, 1HR, 33 RBI's, 30 runs, .330 OBP. Although statistically the top fielding 2B in NL, he's turned into Kevin Stocker at the plate. Doesn't run much, doesn't get extra base hits. Not terrible, but barely average. But he's little, he's kind of cute in a Dennis the Menace sort of way, and his wife does voice acting for the Star Wars: Clone Wars Cartoon.

Shortstop: Jimmy Rollins- .229, 7HR's, 34 RBI's, .287 OBP. Incredibly awful season for the former MVP. Huge liability for the defending World Series champions. Always overrated, his 2007 MVP looks like a distant memory. He's better than this. He's not an MVP, but he's better than this.

Third Base: Emilio Bonificaio- .258. 1HR, 21 RBI's, .304 OBP, NL leading 13 errors at the hot corner. Clearly not a true 3B, is a 2B playing out of position. However, he'd still be on this list if he was playing 2B. Has speed to burn, but swings at everything and does not get on base enough to justify being a leadoff guy.

Left Field: Alfonso Soriano- .233, 14HR, 33 RBI's, .298 OBP, a shocking 7 errors already in LF. 82 strikeouts to 29 walks. Only 7 steals. His miraculously crappy season is flying under the radar as fellow Cub Milton Bradley stinks it up. He's aging faster than Jena Haze.

Center Field: Chris Young- .196, 6HR, 25 RBI's, .289 OBP. The 25 year old has never broken .250 and probably never will. He's had 255 at bats and still can't get over the Mendoza line. Only member of the Non-Stars to be batting under .200.

Right Field: Jeff Francoeur- .256, 5HR, 37 RBI's, .286 OBP. Turned down straight up for Cody Ross. Traded to the sinking ship that is the NY Mets. 47 strikeouts, 12 walks. Is probably a mortal lock to be the next player on the DL with "Anxiety".

Starting Pitcher: Ian Snell- 2-8, 5.36 ERA, 1.62 WHIP, 52 k's and 44 walk. Opponents were hitting a respectable .282 off of him. Demanded Pirates demote him to Triple AAA. Hates playing in Pittsburgh and is possibly suicidal.

Starting Pitcher: Todd Wellemeyer 7-7. 5.56 ERA, 1.72 WHIP, 64 k's and 47 walks. Opponents are batting a staggering .319 against him. How does this guy have 7 wins and only 7 losses? How come teammate Joel Pinerio is pitching a hell of a lot better and has a record that is way worse. Sometimes, baseball is not fair.

Starting Pitcher: Daniel Cabrera- 0-5, 5.85, 2.08 WHIP, .281, 16 ks, 35 walks. Even the Nationals knew they couldn't keep putting Cabrera out there and they're one of the worst teams in the history of baseball. His strikeout to walk ratio is among the all time worst. The WHIP is staggering. Somehow, as bad as he's been, he's still holding opposing hitters to an avearage almost 40 points lower than Wellemeyer.

Closer: Brad Lidge 0-4, 7.03, 18 saves, 1.84 WHIP, 6 blown saves. Come on Brad, pick a side already. He was dominant until Albert Pujols nearly destroyed his career in the 2005 World Series. He was nearly cut, and bounced back to be lights out with the Phillies and win a World Series last year with a sub 2.00 ERA. Now? He looks anything but dominant. I guess that's what you get from another loser Notre Dame graduate.

The American League

Catcher: Dioner Navarro- .223, 5HR, 25 RBI's, .254 OBP. 38 strikeouts, 7 walks in 247 at bats. He was an all-star last year. This year, not so much. Really deserved a shout out in yesterdays tribute to fat baseball players. No way he's 5'9 and 205. No fucking way.

First Base: Chris Davis- .202, 15 HR, 33 RBI's, .256 OBP, 258 at bats: 114 strikeouts, 17 walks. 202, 15 HR, 33 RBI's, .256 OBP, 258 at bats: 114 strikeouts, 17 walks. 202, 15 HR, 33 RBI's, .256 OBP, 258 at bats: 114 strikeouts, 17 walks. .256 OBP. 114 strikeouts. 17 walks. Minor league time.

Second Base: Jose Lopez- .256, 12 HR, 51 RBI's, .287 OBP. 11 errors lead the AL at second base and his .967 fielding percentage is worst. Numbers could be worse. His OBP and defensive stats put him in this place. Matthew Berry predicted sick things for this guy this year. Matthew Berry is Matthew Berry.

Shortstop: Orlando Cabrera- .262, 4 HR, 31 RBI's, .299 OBP. Leading AL in errors and second worst in fielding percentage. A solid guy as long as you're not Edgar Renteria. A great quote. He's an aging shortstop losing range and losing his speed.

Third Base: Adrian Beltre- .259, 5 HR, 31 RBI's, .291 OBP. 48 strikeouts, 11 walks. He's got the third highest number of errors among AL third basemant and is in the bottom half of fielding percentage. Still living off his 2004 season. Extremely overpaid. The excuse that at least he's a great fielder is losing steam pretty fucking fast.

Left Field: Delmon Young- .266, 3HR, 25 RBI's, .292 OBP, 59k's, 6 walks. This guy was the number one pick in the entire draft. He mashed in the minors. Threw a bat at an umpire and got suspended 50 games. Traded for Matt Garza and Jason Barlett. Yeah he's on this list.

Center Field: Vernon Wells- .263, 9HR, 38 RBI's, .312 OBP. Guy can still pay defense. Guy can't really play offense anymore. Meh.

Right Field: Magglio Ordonez- .260, 4HR, 28 RBI's, for nearly $19 million this season. Maybe it's time he cuts his hair.

Designated Hitter: Jason Giambi- .192, 11 HR, 40 RBI's, .331 OBP. 260 at bats, 48 walks, 71 strikeouts. He has 50 hits on the season. He has two more hits than walks. Maybe he needs back The Golden Thong. Giambi and Jack Cust on the same team makes no sense. You think this makes Mark Bellhorn is jealous?

Starting Pitcher: Chien-Ming Wang- 1-6, 9.64 ERA, 2.02 Whip, 29 k's, 19 walks. On the bright side, opponents are only hitting .265 of Wang.

Starting Pitcher- Francisco Liriano, 4-9, 5.47 ERA, 1.49 WhIP. 2006 seems so long ago when he busted on the scene with 12 wins and a sub 2.20 ERA. I know he lost all of 2007 to Tommy John surgery, but by now he should me molding back into form. He's instead headed the wrong way.

Starting Pitcher: Fausto Carmona 2-6, 7.42 ERA, 1.81 WHIP, 36 k's 41, walks. He's almost in Daniel Cabrera territory. Starting pitchers should not have more walks than striekouts. It's not a very good sign. A 7.42 ERA and a 1.81 WHIP aren't very good either. Add a healthy .283 opponents batting average and you're officially having a shitty season. That 19-8, 3.06 ERA season might have been a fluke.

Closer: Kerry Wood, 2-3, 5.28 ERA, 4 blown saves, 1.43 whip, 33 k's to 17 walks. He's certainly not making Indians fans forget about Joe Borowski.