Your Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day: Teddy Higuera!

Your Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day is Teddy Higuera.

"Teddy", "Teddy Higuera", or "Teodoro Higuera Valenzuela", if you're not into the whole brevity thing, is without a doubt the greatest Mexican pitcher to ever throw a baseball in the Major League Baseball that does not have the name "Fernando Valenzuela". Despite what every person reading this is probably thinking right now, I promise to not make any jokes about Teddy being Mexican throughout this entire post. There is nothing inherently funny about Mexico or it's people. Mexico is a wonderful nation full of wonderful people who offer nothing but hope and goodwill to their fellow man. So there.

Like few players, Teddy had the honor and loyalty to actually suit up for only one team during his entire career. That team just happened to be the Milwaukee Brewers. The best part of Teddy's time with the Brewers was that he got to wear the greatest logo in the history of the Major League Baseball. Here. Take a look at it. Stare at it. Admire it. Bask in it. Look at it like it's one of those "Magic Eye" things on the back of a Honey Nut Cheerios box. Notice anything special about it? To pure novices, it looks like a simple baseball mitt. But if you look close enough, the fingers of the baseball mitt appear to make a "M". If you look at the thumb and bottom of the baseball mitt, it appears to make a "B". "M". "B". "M.B." Milwaukee Brewers. See? Genius, must have been designed by Will Hunting or some shit.

From his debut in 1985 through 1988, Teddy was one of the most dominant pitchers in the American League, with a winning at least 16 games in each of the four years, never having a winning percentage drop below .640 or an ERA that rose above 4.00. Teddy finished his rookie year 2nd in Rookie of the Year voting to the light hitting, foul mouthed Ozzie Guillen. Teddy almost singlehandedly beat that notion of a sophomore slump by winning 20 fucking games and finishing second to Roger Clemens in Cy Young voting. Had Roger Clemens not been using PED's, Teddy would have a Cy Young on his mantle right now. In 1988, Teddy led the American League in WHIP. Like I said, it was a dominant stretch.

Sadly, Teddy was not able to keep his dominance on track for more than four seasons. By 1989, a combination of numerous injuries and the simple fact that the hitters of the American League had finally figured Teddy out swiftly put a sad end to a once promising career. Teddy briefly tried to make a comeback with the San Diego Padres in the mid 1990's, but it was too much for Teddy.

His post playing career has been a bit of a question mark as The Internet has failed to keep track of where Teddy has traveled. You fail The Internet.

See, an entire post, and no jokes about Mexico, aren't you proud Nadia?

So here's to you Teddy Higuera, our Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day, you may have lost a Cy Young to Roger Clemens, but he's still a motherfucking scumbag and you aren't.