The One About The Overweight All-Star Snub

As I was laying in bed last nite flipping through the channels, I found myself watching a really strange program on the The Learning Channel about "The 650 Pound Virgin". Quick recap: dude was 650 pounds, dude lost 430 pounds, dude has never made love to a woman (or even got a little tug-tug), dude wants to make love to a woman, dude is awkward around women, dude goes to dating coach for help. Hilarity (albeit unintentionally) ensues. After this was over, I flipped over to ESPN where they were discussing their "All-Star Snubs", and the conversation focused on my favorite new baseball player of 2009: Pablo Sandoval.

Pablo stands/squats at a listed height of 5'11 and 245 pounds, which in reality, puts him at 5'9 and 265 pounds. Pablo is fat. There's no way around it/him. As of the time of the All-Star break, Pablo is 3rd in the National League in batting average at .333. He also has 15 home runs and 55 RBI's. It's also his first season in the "big" leagues. Pablo can mash, there's no doubt about that. He swings at basically every pitch. His self proclaimed mantra is "see ball, swing", which it appears he learned from Jobu.

Pablo's success as a fat baseball player doesn't seem all that weird. Starting with Babe Ruth and pushing well throughout baseball history, there has always been a place for the baseball players who qualify in the weight status as "more to love". Pablo isn't the first fattie in the Major Leagues, and he certainly won't be the last. Sure there are fat NFL players, but it's their job to be fat. Sure, sometimes you get jumbo fatties like Gilbert Brown, The Goose and Big Teddy Washington, but it's what they're paid to do. Fat NBA players are hard to find. There's been the Tractor Traylor, Oliver Miller and Eddy Curry. (True story, back in the early 2000's when Oliver Miller was playing with Phoenix, I was sitting at Johnny Rockets in Coconut Grove when a two door civic pulled up. Two young ladies in the front. Out of the back climbed Shawn Marion and Oliver Miller. To this day trying to figure out how Oliver Miller sat in the back of that Civic is one of the most puzzling things of my life.) There haven't been too many fat NHL players, and aside from Ronaldo in his later days, there haven't been many fat soccer players.

Baseball seems to be the exception to this. In baseball you can have Prince Fielder be fat, hit 50 home runs, turn vegetarian and hit 16 less homers in more at bats. In baseball you can have Antonio Alfonseca with his six fingers and Quatto living in his stomach lead the league in saves. In baseball you can have Rich "El Guapo" Garces become a legend in Boston and Bartolo Colon go missing for days. In baseball you can have Livan Hernandez win a World Series MVP and see Miguel Cabrera lead a team to a World Series as a 20 year old. In baseball you can see C.C. Sabathia heave his way to a Cy Young. In baseball you can have a guy nicknamed "The Meathook" be a two time all-star and win comeback player of the year.

And these all are just recently. Baseball has a whole tradition of fatties. That's why it's America's past-time. We can look at these athletes and be proud that they look just like us - Fat America. Pablo is in good company. Let's hope he stays that way.