Your Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day is: Chili Davis!

Your Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day is: Chili Davis!

Quick Pop Quiz. Who's 4th on the all time home run list among switch hitters behind only Mickey Mantle, Eddie Murray and Chipper Jones. Answer: Chili Fucking Davis.

Charles Theodore Davis was born in Kingston, Jamaica. Legend goes that when he was 12 years old, he had such a bad haircut, the neighborhood kids called him "Chili Bowl". Over time, the "Bowl" portion disappeared and we were left with just "Chili". Chili is widely regarded as the greatest Jamaican Born Major League Baseball Player of All-Time. (Nearly edging out Devon White and Justin Masterson, the only other Jamaican born Major League Baseball Players.)

Chili was an underrated baseball player and an overrated human. More on the latter later.

As an outfielder and designated hitter in the Major League Baseball, Chili was a solid middle of the lineup bat. Over his career, Chili's perseverance was honored with three all-star nominations and three World Series rings. Chili had career totals of a .274 average, 2380 hits, 350 home runs and 1372 RBI's. Not too shabby Chili. Not too shabby at all.

As a human, Chili wasn't as solid. In fact, he was downright scary. In 2003, Chili's wife, Ms. Chili made some startling allegations against him in a court of law. Among other things, Ms. Chili claims that Chili attacked her in the shower, held her down in the shower with his foot, spit tobacco onto her and urinated into a drain next to her head. Ms. Chilli alleged these actions occurred over several hours because Chili wanted her to hand over title to a car. Chili, take a lesson from this guy, peeing on teammates in a shower is always funny, but peeing on your wife in a fit of rage is not. In another incident, Ms. Chili alleged she awoke to find Chili sitting in a chair, asked if she wanted to use the phone to call anyone and immediately ripped the phone from the wall. Although she did not allege that Chili said "What is your name? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS". In court, Ms. Chili had a recording of Chilli saying "[Ms. Chili, you deserved to get hit... and any woman that I ever met like you deserves to get their ass kicked". While not grammatically correct, frightening nonetheless.

Currently, Chili Davis is attempting to open Chili Davis' Premier Baseball somewhere in Arizona. Whatever that means.

Shockingly, Chili Davis is the second Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player to have a crappy band on Myspace named after him. For you listening (dis)pleasure, we present to you, Chili Davis.

So, in summary, Chili, solid baseball player, awful human.

So here's to you Chili Davis, our Random Mid 80's to Early 90's Baseball Player of the Day, if you promise not to pee on our heads, we'll give you the title to our hearts.